View Full Version : Why We Just Love Little Children These R Funny

03-02-2002, 11:51 AM
> >A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked
> >him if it was dead or alive. "Dead." She was informed. "How do you
> >know?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it
> >didn't move,"answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT??" the
> >teacher exclaimed insurprise. "You know", explained the boy, "I
> >leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
> >
> >--------------------
> >
> >A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....
> >"Da-ad...."
> >"What?"
> >"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
> >"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
> >Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
> >"WHAT?"
> >"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
> >"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
> >Five minutes later......"D! ! aaaa-aaaad....."
> >"WHAT!"
> >"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
> >____________________________________________________
> >
> >An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into
> >mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into
> >Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out
> >and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
> >'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
> >____________________________________________________
> >
> >One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
> >tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when
> >he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with
> >me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I
> >can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long
> >silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
> >_____________________________________________________
> >
> >When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
> >old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into
> >the shower. She said,"Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes,
> >honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I
> >know," she replied, but what's growing in your behind?"
> >______________________________________________________
> >
> >A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
> >"Two plus five, that son of a b---- is seven. Three plus six, that
> >son of a b---- is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and
> >gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing
> >my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught
> >you to do it?" the mother asked. Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the
> >mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching
> >my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are
> >learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them
> >to say two plus two, that son of a b---- is four?" After the teacher
> >stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two
> >plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."