PDA

View Full Version : Martha Stewart Vs Real Women



FISHINLADY
03-08-2002, 04:20 PM
In Celebration of being REAL Women
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Poor Martha, she just can't catch a break.....
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Martha Stewart's Way Vs The Real Woman's Way
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow
> in the bottom of a
> sugar
> > > > cone
> > > > to prevent ice cream drips.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream
> out of the bottom of the
> > > > cone,
> > > > for Pete's sake, you're probably lying on the
> couch with your feet up
> > > > eating
> > > > it anyway.
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from
> budding, place an apple in the
> > bag
> > > > with the potatoes.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed
> potato mix and keep it in
> > the
> > > > pantry for up to a year.
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for
> flouring the baking pan,
> > use
> > > > a
> > > > bit of the dry cake mix instead and there
> won't be any white mess on
> the
> > > > outside of the cake.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery.
> They'll even decorate it for
> > you.
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt
> a dish while it's still
> > > > cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will
> absorb the excess salt
> for
> > an
> > > > instant "fix me up".
> > > > The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish
> while you're cooking,
> > that's
> > > > too damn bad. Please recite with me The Real
> Women's motto: I
> > > > made it and you will eat it and I don't care
> how bad it tastes.
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil
> when putting in the
> > > > refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of
> the stuff.
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white
> over pie crust before
> > baking
> > > > to
> > > > yield a beautiful glossy finish.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: The Sarah Lee frozen pie
> directions do not
> include
> > > > brushing egg whites over the crust and so I
> don't do it.
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a
> lime, cut it in half and
> rub
> > > > it
> > > > on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: Martha, dear, the only
> reason this works is
> > because
> > > > you can't rub a lime on your forehead without
> getting lime juice in
> your
> > > > eye, and then the problem isn't the headache
> anymore, it is because
> you
> > > > are
> > > > now BLIND!
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #9: If you have a problem opening
> jars: Try using latex
> > > > dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip
> that makes opening jars
> > > > easy.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute
> neighbour to do it.
> > > >
> > > > Martha's way #10: Don't throw out all that
> leftover wine. Freeze into
> > ice
> > > > cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
> > > > The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?

1blueorchid
03-09-2002, 07:23 AM
LOL...LOL...LOL.....:D THIS IS FUNNY

luckycat
03-16-2002, 12:18 PM
this is so funny....although i do like martha!!! I sent my sister a birthday card that had martha in it..it is soooo funny!

GG
03-18-2002, 01:36 PM
This is some funny stuff.........

I am a real woman and Who the Hell is Martha Stewart.:D :D :D